Three Days
by AtLeastICouldTry
Summary: When circumstances mean that Janet and Bianca find themselves in the same house again, how will the lovers manage their responsibilities and feelings?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"WTGTGLYB"

The text message from Andy filled Lina's heart with dread.

"Lina! Are you listening?" snapped Owen

"Calm down Owen, yes I'm listening, it's just…"

"Let me guess. Some sort of child care crisis?"

"It's ok, I just need to sort it out."

"Again. Well do it, in a hurry! Then sit with Ben and get this sorted before the whole case collapses!"

Lina went back to her office and choked back the tears. She refused to let Owen see her cry, but she was close to breaking point nearly constantly these days. She couldn't remember the last time she slept properly, she was missing deadlines and doing shitty work, and clearly motherhood hadn't got the memo that 'nothing ever happens on a Thursday'.

She looked at Andy's text again. Fuck. "Work thing, got to go, love you both." When she had a work thing that she had to stay back for, it involved lots of paperwork, reading and thinking. When Andy had a work thing, it involved baddies and guns and actual risk to life. Every single time she got that text she was crippled with fear; firstly because she was always worried it might be the last time she ever heard from her beloved, and secondly because it meant yet again she had to sort out daycare pick up.

Andy was supposed to get Amal today, so up until a few minutes ago she could have stayed late at work, but now she had to sort out something. There was no point texting Andy back - that message was their code which meant he would be uncontactable until he emerged from whatever crisis he was attending. She realised she was literally pulling clumps of her hair out trying to think of who she could call. Who would be available to pick up Amal, have the right car seat, be able to look after her until she was finished on this stuff with Ben and - she checked the time - all with 25 minutes notice before daycare closed? She tried a few babysitters but none answered. Fuck.

"Lina, conference room, now!" bellowed Owen at her door. Ben was standing behind him, encumbered only by an armful of folders.

Things had been a little rough for Janet being back at the DPP. Not only did she have to revert to adversarial justice after so many years of an inquisitorial approach, but working with Owen as her boss was less that delightful. When she heard him shouting at Lina, she walked out to the hallway.

"Ah, what's the problem?"

"There's no problem, and it wouldn't be yours to worry about even if it was," Owen spat back.

"No need to throw a tantrum. If there's no problem then why all the shouting?"

"Because Lina, yet again, can't pull her weight and get this stuff done. If Ben can manage with a three year old I can't see why it's such a problem for her."

"Hey, I can pull my weight, I don't have a wife to do it for me, I just need to get pick up sorted, give me a sec, then let's go to the conference room and do this," shot back Lina.

"You mean, you'll spend the next hour on your phone having half sentence conversations with me while you leave messages for people who don't answer and then you have to go early anyway, leaving me to finish everything?" quipped Ben.

"Woah woah woah, calm down everyone," said Janet. "Lina, you need to work and someone needs to get Amal, yes?"

"Yes, I just need to…"

"Well I'm just heading home now, so text me daycare's address, I'll get Amal, you can turn off your phone so this very important work that Owen is so panicked about can have your full and brilliant attention, and everyone is happy. Yes?"

Janet looked at Lina. She watched as Lina looked from Owen and Ben, to her, then back again. Janet could tell Lina was trapped in a corner, and she was trying to offer her a way out. She knew Lina hated to be seen as vulnerable or unreliable. Would she accept?

Janet looked at Lina, from one mother to another, and for a second Lina let her guard down and her eyes were a mix of gratitude and relief.

"Yes, that'll work. Texting you the address now, phone off. Come on boys, let's do this." Lina said with renewed, and mostly faked, confidence.

Janet covertly squeezed Lina's hand as she walked past, and Lina squeezed back her thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Janet pulled into the daycare carpark with six minutes until closing time. She buzzed the intercom to be let in.

"Hello, I'm Janet King, I'm here to collect Amal…"

"Janet?"

She stopped at the voice. Janet couldn't believe her ears.

"Bi- Bianca? What are you doing here?" Janet bumbled out. Her mind and heart and everything else was swirling with shock.

"Well this woman says she's here to collect Amal too," said the daycare director. "But she can't."

"Wait, what's going on?" said Janet, still in a state of confusion.

"We're collaborating with the state police on an operation and I'm working with Andy. He had to go at the last minute so he asked me to get Amal," explained Bianca.

"As I have already said, you cannot collect Amal as you are not an Authorised Contact. I cannot give her to you," said the frustrated daycare director, as Amal whinged with exhaustion.

"But I have this," said Bianca, as she rapped on a piece of paper which was a photocopy of Andy's police badge and a quickly scribbled permission for Bianca Grieve to collect Amal Campbell.

"As I have explained, this is not sufficient. I need a completed Authorised Contact Permission Form." The director turned to Janet. "Have you got the form?"

"Ah, Lina is my work colleague and she gave me verbal permission. And send me a text?" Janet offered, uncharacteristically shy.

"You've got to be kidding me. You can't just show up asking to take a child without the paperwork. I need to call Amal's parents."

"Lina has her phone off," said Janet.

"So does Andy," echoed Bianca.

"Then since it's now past closing time and no Authorised Contact has arrived to pick up Amal I need to call the police," declared the director.

"But I am the police," pointed out Bianca. The director checked to clock with exhausted eyes.

"Ok. I will make an exception, as a one off. As Ms Grieve has at least some written permission to collect Amal, I will release her to your care because you are a police officer. And only for that reason." The director passed Amal to Bianca.

"Bibi!" said Amal as she snuggled in for a cuddle.

"So we're all sorted then? Great," said Janet.

"No, she is sorted. I have no idea who you are or why you are trying to pick up Amal. She's going to this lady and that's it."

"Ok, no problem. Thanks, and goodbye." Bianca hoisted Amal's bag on one shoulder and Amal on her hip and Janet held the door open for them.

They walked out into the car park and stared at each other.

"So, um, how are you?" stammered Janet.

"Oh Janet, we can't do this here. Let's go, actually, I don't know where to go. I can't take Amal in my car, we'll have to get the train," said Bianca.

"I stopped to get one of the twins' old car seats that's been sitting in the garage. But I can't take Amal - look at the way the director is glaring at me. You'd better both hop in." She caught herself. "That is, if you want to?"

"We don't seem to have much choice; can you strap her in?"

Bianca, Amal and Janet all hopped into Janet's car while Janet filled Bianca in on what had happened with Lina.

"Do you want me to drive you home? She seems pretty attached to you." offered Janet

"I've seen Lina and Andy at some work things, but I didn't realise she'd cling to me so much! Jeepers, I know nothing about little kids, I don't have any toys or anything."

"Would you like to come to mine? I have toys," Janet offered with a speck of anticipation.

"Ok, maybe just until we hear from Andy or Lina," replied Bianca. Janet tried to ignore the barb that she knew was unintended, but that she nevertheless felt with that qualifier.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Mum!" shouted Emma and Liam as Janet opened the door.

"Hi kids, hi Rose, we've got…"

"Bibi?" exclaimed Liam as he looked over his mother's shoulder.

"We have guests. Bianca and Amal are going to stay for dinner." The kids and Rose looked at Janet with confusion.

"Come on, set the table,' ushered Janet.

They sat to eat the dinner Rose had made, Amal clinging to Bianca the whole time. Janet looked in her daycare bag and found it well stocked with spare clothes, sippy cup and blankie. In no time at all Amal had fallen asleep on Bianca. When they finished dinner Bianca relocated to the living room but the dead-weight of a three year old gets uncomfortable pretty quickly, even on an expensive couch.

"Here, let me take her and you can have a shower. There's, um, still some of your things here, if you like?" said Janet.

"Actually, that would be good. My arm has completely lost feeling. Thanks."

Bianca handed Amal over to Janet and she immediately woke up and started crying. Janet bounced her and shooshed her, and reassured Bianca to go and shower.

Bianca went through the motions she had done so many times before - getting a clean towel from the linen cupboard in the hall, turning on the taps and washing away the day as the water streamed over her face. She could hardly believe she was here again. How had this happened? The twins had so much to ask and tell Bianca over dinner that she barely got to speak a word to Janet. Would they get the chance to talk later? If they did, what would she say?

As she got out of the shower, a towel-clad Bianca walked across Janet's bedroom. In her wardrobe she found several changes of her clothes, still in the same drawers she had left them in. She opened the door to go back downstairs and heard Amal still crying.

"Has she been crying the whole time?" Bianca asked Janet as she reached out for Amal.

"Ah, yes. I bounced, I blankied, I offered her snacks, but no go. She doesn't know me. Why don't you take her and see if you can get her to sleep in the spare room? There's clean sheets on the bed. I still haven't heard from Lina and it's only 8:30, so who knows how much longer she's going to be."

"Ok, poor poppet is so tired."

Janet handed Bianca a sippy cup of milk and a glass of wine.

"Good luck."

As Bianca lay down with Amal, she stroked her hair and she soon dropped off to sleep. She stayed there, sipping her wine, while she heard Janet getting the twins through the seemingly endless bedtime tasks. By the time she was sure Amal was properly asleep, she came out and started to clean up the kitchen.

"You don't need to do that, I'll do it later," said Janet.

"It's fine, I can help," replied Bianca.

They stood at the kitchen bench, looking at each other.

"I don't know what to say Janet."

"What if…" Janet was interrupted by Amal crying.

"She must have woken up again. Do you want to stay the night? With Amal, I mean. She'll probably keep waking up and you're the only one here she knows."

Bianca's head was swirling. Back in Janet's house, but sleeping in the spare room? She itched to say that she wanted to stay, but she was too scared.

"Janet, I don't know. It's probably the best plan that makes sense." Amal walked out and stood at the top of the stairs, sobbing. "Come on Amal, let's go back to bed. Ok, Janet. I'll stay."

Janet went up and said goodnight to the twins, and came down just as her phone was ringing. Lina. Janet filled her in on Andy and Bianca, and offered a sleepover in place of a late night pick up. Lina was exhausted and reluctantly accepted.

Janet popped her head into the spare room, with a glass of water and an extra pillow for Bianca, who had one arm trapped under Amal.

"Is there anything else you need?" asked Janet.

"Yes, but we can talk about it tomorrow. Sleep tight."

Janet hopped into bed, alone, thinking completely of Bianca in bed just down the hallway. How she ached to hold her, to be held. She barely slept a wink.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Janet made three sandwiches and started cutting up fruit for lunchboxes. When she sliced open her thumb by accident she realised how distracted she was.

She wandered upstairs to wake the twins. She climbed into the bottom bed for a snoozy cuddle with Liam, well aware that his need for snuggles from her would soon be waning. She tried to wake Emma but all she got was a grunt as she moved to the other side of the bunk where Janet couldn't reach her.

Janet thought about the other sleepyheads in her house, and then she felt an ever so familiar hand slide across the small of her back. Janet gasped.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to startle you or wake the kids," Bianca whispered in a hurried tone.

"All good, they're supposed to be waking up anyway," Janet implored as she playfully swatted Emma and Liam with a pillow. "How's Amal?"

"Still asleep, thank goodness. She's like a starfish. I think I got kicked about a million times last night."

"Why don't you hop in the shower while you can? Unless you want to have a coffee… and… talk?" asked Janet, full of vulnerable hope.

"Janet, not now. I'm not saying no - I'm not - but there's no way we can talk with three kids trying to get ready for school. I have to go. Lina will be here soon to pick up Amal and if we do talk, we need to do it properly. I'll get changed into some of my, um, spare clothes, and slip out while I can."

Janet reached for Bianca's hand, and she pulled away. She watched as she disappeared into the spare room and closed the door.

"Come on kids, wake up now!" Janet shouted; shouting so her voice wouldn't crack.

ooooOOOOOoooo

Lina knocked on the door with her brave, confident mask plastered on. The door opened and Amal launched into her arms for a cuddle.

"Good morning my poppet, did you have a good sleepover?" Lina turned to Janet. "How was she?"

"She was fine. Well, she slept like a three year old… but Bianca did the night shift. Come in while I get her bag. You are clearly far more organised than I was when the twins were her age. Here it is, I've made her lunch."

"Janet, thank you. I'm sorry that I dropped the ball yesterday."

"Hey, when you're juggling balls sometimes one gets dropped. It happens." Janet turned to a whinging Emma. "No, you didn't put your lunchbox in the dishwasher last night and it's too late to wash it now. You can have the spare one. Stop moaning about it and next time unpack your bag." She turned back to Lina. "How's Andy?"

"Alive. He collapsed into bed about ten minutes before my alarm went off, so I guess we'll call that our quality time for the day," Lina said as she rolled her eyes.

"Kids, come and say goodbye to Amal! See you at work Lina," said Janet reassuringly.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Janet knocked on Lina's door with two coffees in her hands. "Time for a chat?"

"Come in, I'm not getting anywhere with this stuff. My brain's a mess, even for a Friday. Thanks for the coffee."

"Lina, are you ok? Actually no, don't answer that. I can tell you're not."

"Janet, I appreciate your help last night but I didn't realise unsolicited career advice was part of the deal."

"Lina, I'm not going to give you unsolicited career advice. I'm making you an offer."

"What do you mean?"

"Lina, I can tell you're struggling. But I don't mean that in a bad way. Many mothers find that it can be hard to juggle work with…"

"This is still sounding like unsolicited career advice."

"Ok, you're right. But what I'm trying to say is, don't worry. You'll be ok. Stop comparing yourself to others. Ben, Richard, me - none of us sat the bar exam while parenting young children. Don't be afraid to ask for help."

"Janet - "

"We both know that last night is going to happen again. I know because it happens all the time. The difference is I've got help. I pay the babysitter with money and I pay Tony with scotch. It took me ages to learn to accept help and I don't want to see you do the same thing."

"Janet, either cut to the offer bit you mentioned or quit with the condescension."

"Put me down as one of Amal's Authorised Pick Up Person or whatever it's called. I can't say I'm available all the time, but at least I can try. I'll keep the old carseat in the car so if you get stuck I can help."

"I can manage…"

"I know you can, I'm not saying you can't. I'm offering help. Help like I get. There's no way I could have sat the bar exam with a little kid."

"Patronising as well? Janet, seriously."

"Ok I've really stuffed this up."

"Yeah, you have. And just when I thought I would make it through the day without sobbing in the toilets…"

"Lina, I wouldn't be offering if I didn't respect and admire you. I've never looked after anyone else's kids before. Seriously."

"Is that really what this is?"

"Yes. Why do you find that so hard to believe?"

"Because I've spent most of the past 15 years trying, and usually failing, to please you, to show you I could cut it, to earn your respect. And now you're telling me that you respect this blubbering mess?"

"For Christ's sake Lina, is that what this is about? I've respected you as a lawyer for years, and as a mother too. I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear. Is that really what you think? Who cares about the crying. One of the reasons I respect you is you do keep showing up every day even when you feel awful. Let me make it up to you. Put me on the daycare list."

Lina slumped back and wiped her eyes. "Ok, I'll pick up a form and fill it out. Thank you Janet."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Wow Pearl, that was amazing!" said Emma as she ran from the field.

"Yeah, that kick at the end was awesome! Can you teach me how to do that?" echoed Liam.

"Thanks guys. Sure, if you think you're up to it!" said Pearl as she snatched Liam's ball out from his feet and playfully ran off with it. Janet watched while she flipped her phone around in her pocket, thinking about the phone call she was trying to muster up the courage to make.

"Come on guys, we've got to get going!" Janet shouted at the kids. "Pearl! Emma! Liam!"

"Aww Mum can't we stay? And get a snow cone?"

"No snow cones Liam. You'll get enough rubbish tonight at your sleepover. Good game Pearl. What are you going to do this afternoon?"

"Dunno. Most of the Boarding House is out on leave on Saturdays, so I guess I'll just watch some TV or something. No where else to go." She laughed as she snatched a distracted Liam's ball from him again.

Janet kept flicking her phone, then decided to make a different call.

"Pearl, do you want to come and help me with the twins' sleepover? I'll have a houseful of ten year olds. How good are you at making popcorn?"

"Sweet as. I bags the front seat!" shouted Pearl over her shoulder. "Oh, you'd better call the Boarding House. Apparently they get worried when you don't come home. Who knew, eh?"

"No worries," said Janet. "And sit on a towel, you're filthy!"

Janet called the Boarding House at Pearl's soccer school to arrange Evening Leave and then she decided to make the call she'd been thinking about. It went to voice mail.

"Hi Bianca, it's me, Janet. Just calling to see if you'd like to chat? Call me back. If you want to. Please." She hung up and sighed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The doorbell rang and the pizza delivery lady struggled with the ten pizzas plus bags of drinks and garlic bread on her electric push bike. Janet thanked her then carried the tower of cardboard boxes into the dining room.

"Ok guys, come and get it!"

Janet and Pearl retreated behind the kitchen bench as ten ten year olds swarmed over the table, vacuuming up the pizza.

"I thought they might be running out of puff by now," remarked Janet.

"Yeah, sure," replied Pearl. "What planet are you living on? I doubt those three bottles of Coke are going to settle them down either."

"What time do you need to be back?"

"Back by 10pm or I 'get an infringement' lolz. It's a piece of paper that 'goes on my file'. Phft."

"Ok, you can get a cab. I need wine to cope with all this noise."

Janet habitually got two glasses out of the cupboard, but caught herself as she started to pour the second and remembered there was no second person for her to share a drink with. Pearl went to join the birthday party, setting up an impromptu game which seemed to involve flicking popcorn through some sort of obstacle course of pizza boxes, bananas from the fruit bowl, and hoops made from garlic bread alfoil. She decided that cleaning up the mess later was justified by the fun they were having now, when she felt her phone vibrating against her hip.

"Bianca. How-how are you?"

"Hi Janet, it's me. I got your message. What is that noise?"

"The kids have four friends each for a sleepover. Pearl's here too, I think she just wanted to be part of a family for a bit. But they're occupied. Noisy, but occupied. Would you like to come over?"

"Janet, I've been thinking about this endlessly. I don't know if I can."

"Bianca, please? Come over for a glass of wine. Just one. For now. Please."

"Ok Janet. I'll see you soon."

Janet slipped her phone back into the pocket of her jeans, head and heart spinning. Was this actually going to happen?

oooooOOOOOooooo

Bianca parked her car outside Janet's house. She'd parked it there a hundred times before. She went into cop mode to try to calm her breathing. Shields up, and she went and knocked on the door. When there was no answer she tried the handle and it was unlocked. She pushed inside. She she found Emma and her friends watching a movie (inexplicably surrounded by alfoil and bananas) and heard a cacophony upstairs.

"Emma, happy birthday!"

"Bianca, what are you doing here? I mean, hello and thanks. But what are you doing here again? Amal's not here."

"Your mum invited me over. Where is she? And what IS that noise?"

"Dunno where Mum is. That noise is the boys. They're in our room making a fort. Pearl's here too! Hey, check this out." Emma then proceeded to bounce a piece of popcorn up and down on her foot like a soccer ball.

"That's great Emma. Can you go and find Mum for me?"

"Mum! Mum! Where are you?" Emma started shouting. Bianca resisted the urge to tell Emma that if she had wanted more shouting, she could have done it herself.

"Bianca, you're here," Janet said from the top of the stairs. "Hang on a sec," she said as she disappeared down the hallway.

What on earth did that mean?

Janet reappeared and came downstairs.

"Sorry Bianca, I was just calling a cab for Pearl. She's testing the boys' fort by throwing balls at it." Janet rolled her eyes. "Thanks for coming," she added, softly and warmly. "Would you like a drink? Or some pizza?"

"No to the pizza. Yes to one glass of wine."

Janet poured two wine glasses, and handed one to Bianca. There was a honk at the door and she took Pearl out to the taxi.

When Janet came back inside she found Bianca sitting on the couch in the middle of a food war zone.

"Driver paid in advance and Pearl promised to text me when she gets back. I think she's enjoying being missed. Where did they go?"

"The movie finished and the girls went upstairs. I'm not going to ask about the bananas."

"Good idea. Thanks for coming."

"You thanked me already. So, how are you?"

Bianca waited, as the silence stretched out like an endless void.

"I'm awful. Bianca, I'm truly awful. There, I said it. I'm awful and sad and sorry and I miss you. Do you miss me? Do you miss us?"

"What sort of a question is that Janet? Of course I miss you, miss us. You must know that? I just feel like I tried so hard and it reached the point where I couldn't be this needy clingy person. I just don't want to be swept aside all the time. It shouldn't be too much for me to ask to be a priority."

"Bianca, I'm sorry. I just couldn't cope. I panicked. My father, everything that happened - so many times I've learned that I can only rely on myself."

"But I was always here. I told you that. So many times. I waited, I gave you space, and you lashed out at me. I can't, I won't live like that, where I'm always being pushed aside. Do you want me to?"

"Of course I don't. And I'm sorry. 'If you're not on top, you're failing?' Remember that? Don't show weakness. Play the best move. 'Gung ho Janet King.' I've done things my way for so hard and so long that it's wired into me. And after Ash - I was on my own again. It broke me."

"Janet, I know all of this. I knew all of this. I've always been here for you, but I can't wait endlessly on the sidelines. What about when I need you? Why was I never a priority?"

"I'm sorry."

Bianca stood up and walked to the kitchen. She put her empty wine glass down on the bench. She stared at it, almost as if she expected to find the answers in there. Janet walked over to her.

"I was so hurt by everything with Graham. I shut you out. I'm sorry. Old patterns are hard to break. But I'm here, asking you, begging you, to love me at my most vulnerable. To let me love you. I promise to be here for you. I promise not to shut you out. If you will let me, please?"

Bianca held back her tears. Then she dropped her armour and let them pour out, and embraced Janet with the months of longing and pain and love. Janet held her close and they breathed each other in as they felt their bodies press close. They clung to each other like a life raft as they kissed and cried.

Eventually they released and held hands. They pushed their foreheads together as their noses rubbed.

"I've missed you" they both said at the same time, then laughed.

Bianca refilled both wine glasses.

"You know, if I have another drink, I won't be able to drive home," Bianca smirked.

"Oh well, I can always call you another cab," a grinning Janet retorted.

"Or I could sleep in the spare room again?"

"Nope. Emma and her friends have set up camp in there for the night. The boys are in the twins' room. There's only the couch which is covered in bananas and popcorn, or one other spot left."

Bianca and Janet drew each other in for more giggles and kisses. Their moment was interrupted by even louder than earlier shrieking from upstairs, and Janet reluctantly left to investigate.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Once the twins and their friends had finally fallen asleep, Janet and Bianca lay in bed, aching for each other. They reintroduced their bodies to each other, every bump, every line, every curve. They slept in each others' arms and didn't let go all night.


End file.
